What A Night
by bleachUlquiGrimm
Summary: All Vaati wants is sleep, so why does a certain dark master keep bothering him? R&R! Lots of bad language towards the end...sorry. I had to write in the Rings and bzzzzs. Damn fanfic took them out...whatever. R


+++++The Title Will Be Revealed at the End+++++

^_^

Vaati lay asleep in his bed one night going on morning. He had just crawled into bed an hour ago and had trouble doing just that. It was certain that any disturbance would basically screw him over for the rest of the night. He did everything in his power to ensure he would not be disturbed. He ripped his alarm clock out of the wall, he turned every light off of their timers to turn on, he locked the doors to his bedroom, and he even made sure his mind was clear of any stressing events. The thing he forgot to do would scar him for life.

**ZZZZZZZ**

_Ring!!!_ The telephone went off. Vaati groaned and still asleep picked it up.

**You will forever burn in Hell for waking me up. What do you want?**

_**Hey Vaati. It's Ganondorf**_

**What do **_**you **_**want?**

_**Just wanted to see what you were doing.**_

**Sleeping. Hang up the phone, Ganon.**

_**Okay, we'll talk later.**_

**Sure, whatever.**

_Click! _The line went dead and Vaati was able to get back to sleep easily but then five minutes later.

_Ring!!!! _Vaati answered the phone.

**What? Who dares to call me at such a late time?!**

_**Hey Vaati, you're up!**_

**Ganon! Why the fuck are you calling me?**

_**You said we could talk later…**_

**I didn't mean five minutes later you ass!**

_CLIK! _ Vaati slammed the phone down angrily. He huffed and went back to sleep but not for long. In three minutes all he could hear was,

_RING!!!!! _Vaati was not going to pick up.

Hey this is Vaati. If I didn't pick up it means I'm avoiding your call and want you to stop calling. Don't even bother leaving a message because I'll just erase it. Hope you die, Bye!

Vaati smiled, triumphant. He fell asleep for a good eleven minutes before

_Riiing!!! BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNGG!!! Riiiiiiiiiiiiing!!_

Groaning loudly, Vaati picked up the phone. Who could it be this time?

**What the **_**fuck **_**do you want?**

_**Just calling to see if you were up. Bye.**_

_Clik! _Vaati looked at the phone and asked himself, was that just Ganon? He checked the ID. Yes, yes it was. Vaati slammed the phone down nearly breaking it. Poor Vaati, only twenty minutes before

_Riiiiiiiiiiiinnng! Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!! RING!!!_

**WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME!!!?!?!?**

_**I-I just want someone to talk to**_

**Call Dark Link! Stop calling me!!!**

_**I think we have better chemistry…**_

Vaati stared at the phone in disbelief.

_**You still there?**_

**Just hang up the phone Ganon…-_-'**

_**But I'm not done talking yet.**_

**You won't even be able to speak when I get my hands on you, you fucking pig!**

_**Oh, hang on. I've got another call.**_

_BEEP! _Vaati took the opportunity to blow his phone to smithereens. He laughed joyously and fell back into the bed. He slept soundly thinking that his trouble was finally over, but we all know Ganon is a persistent bastard. Yes, he is! ^_^ Vaati was soundly snoring in his bed. A sound went off,

_BBBZZZZ!!!!_

And made him jump up out of his bed. His cell was going off. Damn, he didn't pay the extra money for the caller ID. Damn the old days when phones didn't come with caller ID unless you paid an extra 100 rupees for it! Vaati stared at his purple phone, a bit scared at the voice he would hear. He pressed TALK and held the phone up to his ear shakily.

**H-hello?**

_**So like I was saying before, you and I are more friends than me and Dark Link. You know what I mean? **_

**No I don't know what you mean! How did you get this number!?**

_**What ? Your cell number? I overheard you giving it out to Dark Link,s o I copied it down.**_

**I need you to answer a very serious question for me **Vaati said after a long pause. **I need to know if you stalk me.**

_**That depends what kind of stalking you mean.**_

**DO YOU FOLLOW ME AROUND?**

_**Only on Wednesdays**_

**O.o WTF MAN!?!?!?**

_**Does that offend you?**_

**It downright pisses me off!!!**

_**I can stop if you want.**_

**I'm done with this…stop calling me Ganon.**

_CLICK! _Vaati put the phone under his bed and fell back to sleep. For the rest of the night, all Vaati could hear was,

_Bbbbbbbbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!_

_Bbbbbbzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!_

No sleep was obtained for five hours straight. Then, it all stopped. Vaati took the pillows away from his ears. Was it over? He smiled. IT'S OVER!!!! He laughed hysterically.

_Plink! _What was that???

_Plink!_

_Plink!_

_Plink!_

_Plink! Plink! Plink! Plink! Plink! Plink! Plink! Plink! Plink! Plink! Plink! Plink! Plink!_

What the fuck was going on _now_? Vaati stood up out of bed and walked over to the window that was being pelted with pebbles. Seriously. Someone was throwing Fruity Pebbles the cereal at his stained glass window. He opened the window.

"WHO'S OUT HERE!?!??!" He yelled. Ganon popped up right in his face making him fall back.

"Hey man! Sweet castle. I almost forgot how nice it was."

Vaati almost wanted to slit Ganon's throat.

"Why are you here?"

"I brought DVDs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ganon sang. Vaati smacked them out of his hands.

"I don't want to watch DVDs!!! I want to know why you're in my castle!!"

"Oh, why didn't you ask?"

"I will wring your fucking neck into oblivion." Vaati spoke through clenched teeth.

"Awesome. Well, I came here because I thought you would want to hang out."

"Hang out?"

"Yup."

"Hang out?"

"Why not?"

Vaati had to rub his temples. He was going to have a migraine headache when he woke up….if he ever got to sleep. He smiled at Ganon who was looking at a priceless artifact on one of Vaati's shelves.

"Ganon?"

"Yeah, wazzup?"

"Do you know what time it is?"

Ganon looked around to see the clock, but it was unplugged.

"Your clock isn't plugged in."

"C-could you maybe plug it in for me?" Vaati was calm. Ganon shrugged, and walked over to the clock alongside Vaati. He plugged in the clock. The clock flashed, 5:30 am.

"It's 5:30 am."

"Hm. Interesting." Vaati said. He put his hand on the back of Ganon's head and slammed it down onto the clock.

"WHAT'S THE FUCKING TIME!?!?!?"

"It's 5:30!" Ganon said. Vaati slammed his head into the clock again.

"WHAT!? WHAT WAS THAT!? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!!" He said. "WHAT DOES THE CLOCK SAY!?"

"It says 5:31!" Ganon whimpered. Vaati slammed him down yet againm.

"YOU'RE DAMR RIGHT IT'S 5:31 IN THE MORNING!!!"

"Why are you doing this to me?" Ganon cried. Vaati picked Ganon's head up off the countertop and slammed him into the wall.

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!! YOU HAVE BEEN CALLING ME FOR THE PAST 6 HOURS!!!!!"

"I what?"

"DICK!!!!" Vaati slammed his head into the wall. He then threw Ganon to the ground where Ganon rolled around in his own face blood. Vaati huffed. That felt good. No wait, he wasn't done yet. He grabbed a solid gold sledgehammer he kept handy and pounded it right into Ganon's stomach.

"WHAT WAS YOU RMISTAKE!? HUH!?"

"I don't know!"

Another hammer whack.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?"

"I don't know!!! Stoooop!!" Ganon csobbed. Vaati kept beating him.

"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO WRONG!!? WHAT WAS THE MISTAKE!?!?!?"

"I'm s-s-s-sorry!!! I don't know!!!"

Another pound.

"FUCK YOU SAY!???? YOU BETTER KNOW WHAT YOUR FUCKING MISTAKE WAS YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!"

"I-I-I'm s-s-s-s-sorry!!!"

"FOR WHAT!??!?" Vaati held the hammer high above his head. Ganon put his hands out to defend himself.

"I sh-sh-sh-shouldn't have c-c-c-called you!! I-I-I-I s-s-s-s-sorry!!!!"

Vaati hit him anyway.

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT YOU'RE SORRY! GET OUT OF MY FUCKING CASTLE!"Vaati threw the sledgehammer behind his bed and watched Ganon struggle to get out of the castle via the window. Vaati spit on the ground. When he saw Ganon leave, he huffed and went to the window.

"GO CLEAN YOURSELF UP!!!" he yelled before closing the windows. He jumped into his bed. Wow. I feel great, he thought. He curled up into his bed. WOW, if it wasn't for Ganon, I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. Now, I'm really tired. He sank into a deep slumber. And what happens but his phone goes off. Not even bothering to check the number, Vaati yells straight into the phone,

**I THOUGHT I THOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING ME!!! DO YOU NEED ANOTHER ASS-WHOOPING!?!??**

_I was calling to tell you that I would be your bride, but if that's how you feel, I'll go back to Link!!!_

**WAIT! WHAT!? ZELDA!? NO, NO!!**

_CLICK!! _ Vaati held the phone in his hand and cried into it. What a terrible horrible straight up bad night.

Cheer up Vaati! At least Ganon is gone! I realize Ganon is strong and serious, but sometime you have to crazify people. YAY! Hope you enjoyed that everyone! I expect reviews!!!!!!


End file.
